He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
