kristin has been a bad kristin
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
