So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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