I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
