im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
