I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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