Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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