I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
