New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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