Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
