i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
