rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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