I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
