So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Terrible idea I love it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
