I will die if light touches me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize