would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
