i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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