She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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