I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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