he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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