Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
