well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
