That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
