using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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