Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize