I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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