We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize