Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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