ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
