Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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