Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
