My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
