I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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