I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize