normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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