once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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