yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
