id be glad to
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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