He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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