What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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