So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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