Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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