Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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