So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
