I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
