I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
