I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
