I wish I could teleport
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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