He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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