I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
