Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
