i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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