It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
