yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
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I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees