I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.