i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well