Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday