I heard we made out
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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