You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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