My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Welp...herpes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
