my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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