The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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