I wish they made helmets for livers.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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