i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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